What if your fear of success is really a fear of who you’ll have to become? How often do you hold yourself back, not from failure, but from visibility and growth? What might change if success felt safe instead of threatening?
In this podcast episode, Jennifer Froemel discusses outgrowing fear and stepping into success without shrinking.
In This Podcast:
- What truly lies beneath a fear of success?
- How to tell if you have a fear of success right now
- Five ways to heal the fear of success
- What happens when we stop fearing success?
- Reflection question to help you take the first step
What truly lies beneath a fear of success?
The fear of success doesn’t mean you’re unmotivated or insecure. It means that you’re nervous system associates expansion with increased pressure, increased responsibility, visibility, judgement … and increased relational strain.
Jennifer Froemel
All of these aspects, such as the increased visibility, emotional strain, and pressure, are reasons why many women hold back from going the distance to really reach their goals.
With a fear of success, women may intentionally (or subconsciously unintentionally) pull back from reaching their potential and bringing it to the surface.
Many of us recognize that our mind wants success and sometimes we feel in those moments where we’re maybe not working in the way we know we’re capable of, we end up feeling … “I don’t know if I can do it.”
Jennifer Froemel
If you take the risk of visibility, which is inherent in any decision that puts you out in front of others, it can be a core part of the fear of success. However, if you give in to it, and shrink yourself down to never be known or witnessed, nothing ever happens.
You’ll either stay stuck in the exact same situation, or shrink even lower and lower. Sometimes, taking that risk and jumping into and through the fear is the very thing that expands you into a whole new level of life, and who you choose to become.
I realized that success didn’t change my circumstances: it changed my identity.
Jennifer Froemel
How to tell if you have a fear of success right now
Some common signs that show whether you may be experiencing a fear of success, not failure, may include:
- If you shrink to keep other people comfortable
- If you procrastinate on things that matter
- If you minimize your accomplishments
- If you stay busy all the time and use it to excuse not moving forward
Five ways to heal the fear of success
Success doesn’t have to mean more work, more responsibility, more emotional labor. It could just merely mean, “I’m doing what makes sense for me.”
Jennifer Froemel
1 – Redefine success as alignment, not pressure.
2 – Allow yourself to grow gradually, and don’t expect success instantaneously.
3 – Update your identity. Ask yourself:
- Who am I becoming?
- With my current habits and behaviors, o I like who I am becoming?
- Which beliefs no longer fit me?
4 – Build co-regulation into your growth so that you can reduce the fear of the unknown while you step into this new success.
5 – Prepare for the relational shifts that can happen in our lives when we shift, expand, and step into success.
What happens when we stop fearing success?
These are some of the things that can happen when we stop fearing success:
- Your energy expands instead of contracting
- You become more confident naturally
- You stop apologising for wanting more
- You attract opportunities instead of chasing after them
- You stop dimming your light in relationships
- You feel proud instead of guilty
Reflection question to help you take the first step
If you want to find the deeper root of where these fears come from, you can ask yourself:
- What good would happen in your life if success felt nurturing instead of threatening?
- “What part of me believes that success is unsafe, and why?”
Your next chapter isn’t built on fear. It’s built on your willingness to trust your own expansion!
Jennifer Froemel
RESOURCES MENTIONED AND USEFUL LINKS
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ABOUT THE FEAR OF CHANGE PODCAST
Change can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be. The Fear of Change podcast is all about helping you embrace change and live a more fulfilling life. Hosted by Jennifer Froemel, LCPC, a therapist with nearly 30 years of experience, we cover topics like mental wellness, holistic health, and improving relationships.
Jennifer’s down-to-earth approach makes it easy to understand why we fear change and how to move past those fears. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, relationship issues, or just feeling stuck, there’s something here for you.
