What does it mean to face the “reckoning” of midlife? Why is midlife a new opportunity for identity and not a crisis of identity? How can personal shifts in parenting and purpose transform your clinical presence?
In this podcast episode in the Therapist Behind the Change series, Jennifer Froemel discusses motherhood, identity, and the midlife shift.
In This Podcast:
- How impactful motherhood is
- Changes in midlife
- The identity shift
How impactful motherhood is
Motherhood hit me like a wave, and in other episodes you may have heard me mention [that] tsunamis are my biggest fear!
Jennifer Froemel
However, Jennifer described that being hit by the motherhood wave was both disorienting and beautiful.
There were moments of pain, such as breastfeeding, but also wonder and love, like seeing her body care for her baby, and witnessing herself becoming a mother.
I was absolutely in love [with my baby], [but] the other disorientating part was that I still loved the other things in my life, but I now had to make space for something that needed me.
Jennifer Froemel
Changes in midlife
Here I am today, going through midlife. My kids are nearing the end of their high school careers, one is three-quarters of the way through college, and now I feel like I can bring myself back to life … But a big surprise here! I don’t know what exactly that means.
Jennifer Froemel
Now, if you have had children like Jennifer and they are old enough to no longer need you as much as they did when they were younger, you have some space opening up in your life.
How do you want to fill it? How will you define who you are without babies to look after, and build your schedule around? This is the time when you get to redefine how you want to live your life and who you want to focus on becoming.
When we talk about midlife, it’s not a crisis, it’s more of a reckoning, and it’s not about being old, it’s about having lived enough life where you’re able to [say], “Yeah, I know I don’t like that” … You’re able to reckon with yourself.
Jennifer Froemel
The season that asks you to reevaluate your life is midlife:
- The thought processes that you used to define life
- Your measures of worth
- Which habits did you live your life on
The identity shift
Even though becoming a mother was a life-changing and tough journey, Jennifer talks about how to also helped her become a better therapist.
As I changed, so did my clinical presence. I became more patient, I became more spacious. I saw clients differently, especially women navigating identity and parenting, and purpose. I brought more of myself into sessions, and that allowed clients to bring in more of themselves, too.
Jennifer Froemel
RESOURCES MENTIONED AND USEFUL LINKS
Donate to Jennifer Froemel’s Lifesaving Work in Nepal
Practice of the Practice Network
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ABOUT THE FEAR OF CHANGE PODCAST
Change can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be. The Fear of Change podcast is all about helping you embrace change and live a more fulfilling life. Hosted by Jennifer Froemel, LCPC, a therapist with nearly 30 years of experience, we cover topics like mental wellness, holistic health, and improving relationships.
Jennifer’s down-to-earth approach makes it easy to understand why we fear change and how to move past those fears. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, relationship issues, or just feeling stuck, there’s something here for you.
