What if your triggers weren’t problems to avoid, but invitations to deeper healing? Could understanding the different parts of yourself be the key to lasting transformation? What would change if you approached yourself with more compassion, honesty, and healthy boundaries?

In this podcast episode, Jennifer Froemel discusses how the Adult Chair Method helps you heal and transform your life with Michelle Chalfant. 

Meet Michelle Chalfant

In This Podcast:

• The origins of the Adult Chair Method 
• Aspects of the Adult Chair Method
• Michelle’s trigger kit 
• The five pillars of being an adult 

The origins of the Adult Chair Method

Michelle had experienced functional depression. However, as a lifelong learner, she was always curious about how she could understand what was happening in and around her better. 

This approach helped her recover from her depression, and she developed it further into the work that she now offers to those around her. 

Something that I always loved, and honestly, it was so natural for me to work with different parts of Self. A big part of what I do in my work is my own version of parts work … [This isn’t IFS] … I have been doing parts work for more than 25 years, but it’s my own version of it.

Michelle Chalfant

Since she has a plethora of certifications, the Adult Chair Method is her own development, stemming from her extensive learning and healing journey and her interest in parts work. 

It also came from workshopping with another therapist, sparking Michelle’s journey into developing the Adult Chair Method more deeply. 

 I was sitting with one of my mentors, and we did a lot of chair work … It all came together while working with her, and I took what I was learning from her and everything I learned from the rest of my career, put it all together, and created the adult chair model.

Michelle Chalfant

Aspects of the Adult Chair Method

It is this model that anyone can plug into for any issue, and it makes sense of who you are today, how you got this way, and then gives you a roadmap for how to actually heal it and how to transform your life.

Michelle Chalfant

Essentially, the Adult Chair Method is based on three phases of your life: 

1 – The child: Years of 0-6

2 – The adolescent: Years of 6-24

This is where the false self forms, the masks, all of that kind of thing. If by chance, I don’t know about you … If you had really healthy role models growing up, then we quite naturally slip into this adult chair, [because] in our adult chair, we live from the moment, we live with boundaries, we live with empowerment, and with fact and truth versus story and assumption.

Michelle Chalfant

3 – The adult: Years 24 onwards

Michelle’s trigger kit 

Click here to access Michelle’s trigger kit, wherein you can find hands-on and powerful tools to investigate your triggers. 

The reason why you should is that they are gateways to your inner self and places that still need your attention. 

Our triggers help us to see what our issues are: “What are my beliefs that are rising up in front of me, on a silver platter, when I am triggered?” And most people, what they do when that belief rises up, is they project it on that other person out there … [But] you don’t get triggered unless it’s yours!

Michelle Chalfant

Use somatic work, talk therapy, or even tools like Michelle’s Adult Chair Method to get closer to your triggers and work through them, instead of pulling away. They are doorways into your deeper self that still require your intentional focus and love. 

The five pillars of being an adult 

1 – Own your reality and who you are fully, without shame. You do have to own it for yourself, even if it is uncomfortable, because when you own it for yourself, you can get so much closer to the change that you want. 

2 – Live with self-compassion. Once you own your reality, you must utilize self-compassion as a way through this change. 

When you live with self-compassion, you’re able to build self-worth. It helps with anxiety, it helps with depression, it helps with so many things.

Michelle Chalfant

3 – Feel your emotions instead of thinking through them. Learn some somatic techniques so that you can allow your emotions to move through your body and be felt, which is one of the best ways to process them in their entirety. 

4 – Face your triggers and get involved with them, because they are doorways to the parts of you that still need affection and attention. 

5 – Set healthy boundaries, both for yourself and the people in your life.

RESOURCES MENTIONED AND USEFUL LINKS

BOOK | Michelle Chalfant – The Adult Chair: Get Unstuck, Claim Your Power, and Transform Your Life

BOOK | Michelle Chalfant – The Adult Chair: A Guide to Loving YourselfDavid Richo – How to Be an Adult: A Handbook on Psychological and Spiritual Integration

Visit Michelle’s website and connect on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and LinkedIn.

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CONNECT WITH ME

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ABOUT THE FEAR OF CHANGE PODCAST

Change can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be. The Fear of Change podcast is all about helping you embrace change and live a more fulfilling life. Hosted by Jennifer Froemel, LCPC, a therapist with nearly 30 years of experience, we cover topics like mental wellness, holistic health, and improving relationships.

Jennifer’s down-to-earth approach makes it easy to understand why we fear change and how to move past those fears. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, relationship issues, or just feeling stuck, there’s something here for you.